Patience…..

Or lack of! I don't know what has seemed longer to me, the years of not having a baby, or the nine months we've known there was FINALLY one on its way! I haven't been very nice for the last nine months, I've been really lazy from lack of energy, and I haven't been anywhere near as prepared by now as I was with the other boys. I don't even have Porter's room ready for him and I only have 8 days left! This week my doctor's appointment went really well. The doctor for the first time was able to feel the baby's head in the exam and I went from 40% to 70% effaced! I don't know what to think of the not dilating part because by now as I've said about both other boys I was 4 and 5 cms along. This pregnancy has been so different so I guess I don't know why I expected the end to be any different.

I stressed a concern of mine to the doctor yesterday that scares me the most about delivery. I lost a lot of blood when I had Cole, in the beginning and for six weeks after. I hadn't lost as much with Braxton and I had stopped within a week or two of him. I told the doctor that I'm really scared of hemorrhaging afterwards because it was bad before and being heavier this time it's normal to bleed heavily. He assured me that there is medication to stop it and that they will watch to make sure it doesn't happen. I don't know if that makes me less scared, but I know that once the labor is over my fears will all go away.

I'm thankful for this journey. The joy I have in my heart makes me tear up just thinking about it. There is a longing for babies when you can't have one, a feeling that no one knows, but those who have suffered through it. I have two sisters who have never been able to have children of their own, and I remember sharing their sadness before I was even married, for the simple fact that girls wait their whole lives to be mothers, even just once and sometimes it doesn't happen. It was the hardest thing for me to tell them I was pregnant the first time because I was worried of making their heartaches worse. Even after a miscarriage and my own heartaches of not getting pregnant I still don't know what to say to people who struggle with the same challenge. There are never the right words when it's someone else's sorrows. Even if, we've been down the same road.

I'm glad that this week is EXTREMELY busy and that my mind doesn't have too much time to keep going crazy! The boys will be late if I don't get going. I hope that everyone has a fun week with the festivities of Halloween! I know this is a holiday that I love to celebrate. Sorry for the length of this post. It's more I guess of a record for me of what my feelings are today!

An Uneventful Baby….

So after all the ups and downs of this baby and whether he was coming early or not, he's doing absolutely NOTHING!!!! We have been having hopes of inducing on the 4^th of November, but as of today his head is still floating, I'm not dilating, and I'm only about 40% effaced! I don't even meet the requirements of getting induced so we have to just hang in for the long haul. I've never experienced this before. I was really far in the labor process with Braxton and Cole by now, so this leaves me really sad and depressed. Even though close it makes it feel like it will NEVER happen! It also brings an added chance of needing a c-section if things don't change! Here's hoping that things do change because that's the last thing I want.

Posts Overload!

Sorry for all the posts, but I am hopefully caught up for a few weeks. Now I'm just in an ornery, frantic rush to get everything done before the baby comes. I still have to finish his room, clean, get organized, and relax for a few days before he gets here! I hope that reading the posts takes you less time that it did me to write them!!

Cole's 5th Birthday!

Cole was born Sept. 29, 2004. The day before I had gone in for my last checkup and was 6 cm dilated, 90% effaced. I woke up at 4:30 the morning he was born to shower and get ready. My contractions were 10 minutes apart for a half hour and then were 5 minutes apart for the next couple hours. I woke up with the hopes of getting induced and called the hospital to see if they could take me. They said to come in at 7 a.m. and that they would have room then.

Dave and I left for the hospital right after that call and just sat in the lobby of labor and delivery for 45 minutes. At 7 they came out and said they had a room ready. I started walking and stopped. I insisted that I couldn’t walk any further and they forced me to go the rest of the way. When I got in the room the nurse took her sweet time, knowing that the day before I was already at a 6. FIFTEEN minutes later she finally checked me, only to discover that I was 10cm dilated and minutes away from having a baby. Her panic set in as she ran around frantic wondering what to do because all the dr.s had already left the floor.

Then as the nurses started filing in my room, my dr came casually walking in just to see if I was able to get started. He was on his way to surgery and the nurse quickly picked up the phone to cancel for him. He insisted that I wait for him to change before I started pushing. By 7:20 he was back in the room and I couldn’t wait any longer. Cole entered the world at 7:40 a.m. He came quickly and hasn’t stopped since! My real nightmare of his delivery was being told there wasn’t enough time for any kind of drugs. It was completely natural and I hope that this time I can get drugs! He weighed in at 8lbs. and was 20 ½ in. long.

The Zoo!

Dave’s MBA program sponsored a day at the zoo in September. They provided lunch and everyone got in free! I think the kids liked the playground the most, and after about three hours there they were ready to go! It was fun, but I think I’ll wait to go again when I’m not eight months pregnant!

Happy Anniversary!!!

Dave and I have a kind of crazy story! We had decided to postpone our wedding, but still had plane tickets for the original time to fly back to Michigan. While we were there we decided to still get married. Everything of course was still in Utah, except my dress. We had three days to pull it all off!

Dave’s sister Corina somehow was able to get into our house to get some of the things we left behind. She brought my veil, Dave’s ring, and the poofy skirt that went under my dress. They hurried and caught a flight to Michigan so our things arrived the day before. I forgot though to have her grab my shoes so I had to go on a frantic shopping spree to find shoes.

The morning of the wedding was going well, until I tried to put on my dress. I had gained a couple pounds and my mom couldn’t get my dress closed. It was buttons the whole way down the back so we were really stressed about what to do. There was a lot of pulling, but after much hard work they were finally able to get my dress closed. Needless to say it looks tight in the pictures!

For the wedding my dad walked me down the of Dave’s parent’s front yard, Dave’s dad married us, and a friend of ours named Paul played the violin. After the wedding we had a short lunch and less than an hour to get to the airport to fly home!

We didn’t arrive back to Logan until 2:30 in the morning and I had to be to work by 7:30! That in a nut shell was our crazy beginning and in some ways I guess you can say things have never slowed down since!!! I love you Dave, thanks for the last eight years and all the years to come!!!

I added the first picture because it has always been Dave's favorite!

First day of Second Grade!

We have had some crazy years so far with school so we are really hoping this year will be different! His teacher is Mrs. Goodrich and so far she seems really good!

Braxton's 7th Birthday!

Braxton was born on August 20, 2002. It was about 6:15 p.m. He was a day late and I got induced. They started me at around 7:30 a.m. I got my epidural and everything went pretty smoothly. However I couldn’t feel my body so several times throughout the day people had to help pull me back up on the bed. Towards the end Braxton’s heart rate started having issues so I had to go on oxygen. They decided to lower the dose of my epidural so by the time I was pushing I could feel everything!! I pushed for about an hour and a half and then he came!! He weighed in at 7lbs. 14oz. and was 21 ½ in. long.

We must have gotten our camera right after he was born so the pictures at the bottom are of him at two months. The top ones are current. Some of Braxton’s likes: video games, pokemon, America’s funniest home videos, and reading.

So Far Behind Again!!!!

I'm so far behind again with posts a little more than a month to be exact. I haven't posted Braxton's birthday, our anniversary, or Cole's birthday. Look for them in the next couple days.

Today is a little blurb about the roller coaster of Porter yesterday. I went in for a checkup and left for labor and delivery where I remained for almost four hours! While at the doctors I had three contractions, and I made the doctor feel so that he knew I wasn't making it up. The contractions for the last two weeks have been lasting all day every day. This is not uncommon for me, but was a little troubling to the doctor because he doesn't know why they would be like that.

While testing my urine they found white blood cells in it which are a sign of a bladder infection, and too can send one into preterm labor if not treated quickly enough. So that also was concern to him. After getting to labor and delivery they hooked me up to monitors and watched the contractions and the baby's heart rate. He was anything BUT co-operative! He has had slow movements for days and once they put eyes on him he began moving so much he was hard to track. He is like this every time we've done an ultrasound or any time the doctor tries to listen to him in the office. The nurse finally had to bring in an ultrasound machine so she could find exactly where his heart was.

Yeah! We got to see baby! It wasn't the greatest imaging, but he is getting so big and looks great. She was able to find it and then get more accurate reads. She came in a few minutes later to do a test that determines if you are going to go into labor soon or not and to check for dilating. With the other boys by now I was 4 and 5 cms dilated and this time nothing has started yet. Of course the test came back negative also (I could have told you it would). So after a ton of time and a dark room, I finally was released. My body is just not liking the baby anymore and is being difficult, but he is completely fine. My theory on the contractions is, just check me and see if they are doing anything and if not then they are nothing. I guess it can just be more complicated than that sometimes.

Porter is in this for the long haul and isn't going to come anytime soon! From now on when I go to the doctors I'm going to keep quiet about anything so that I don't have to go through this almost every time I go. Then I don't have to inconvenience people either. Thanks to those of you who helped with our children yesterday and sorry Dave that you had to miss class!!!